Today I actually got selected to serve as a juror. I don't know why anyone would want a porcupine on their jury. After the voir dire (or, in New York parlance, "vwah deeyah"), during which one of the six lawyers repeatedly asked "Can you promise to apply the lawr* as it is explained to you?," my name was called.

My plan is to take notes furiously, casually mentioning that I need to "get the details right" for my blog. "Your whaaat?" "My blog. Don't worry, Your Honor. I'm not using your real name. I am calling you Judge Squinty."

*This is a New York City court.